I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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