I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
