haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
