I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize