: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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