how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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