i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
