It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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