Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
now i know why i became what i already was.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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