is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
