Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
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She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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