I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
