So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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