I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
