What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
