good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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