hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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