Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
