dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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