FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
