I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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