I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Naked. naked and bneed help.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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