"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
