I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
