who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
