Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
