i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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