Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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