my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
