theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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