ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
this just has baby written all over it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
