Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
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I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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