3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
