but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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