he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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