I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize