if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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