so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.