I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today