YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
lol hangovers are for mortals.