I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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