you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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