Little spoons don't ask big questions
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bang-toberfest begins!!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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