No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
