U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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