So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
