i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
