i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
