Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize