I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize