All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
