Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
one two three fourrrrnication!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize