you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize