If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
