idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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