can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
