I hope mine doesn't look like that
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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